http://warner.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/12/04/first-the-bad-news/?ref=opinion
The article Bad Times Stories is an op-ed piece written by Judith Warner from the New York Times paper. This op-ed piece is about her life as mother and her parenting skills. After tragic times such as 9/11, the Holocaust, and most recent the tragedy in America the death of a Wal-Mart employee on Black Friday due to aggressive shoppers are all topics her 8-year-old Emilie daughter has questions about. Warner is struggling about how she needs to approach these issues with her daughter because Emilie is traumatized by these events. She's scared and is always thinking about these horrible times inside of thinking about all the happy and positive times ahead of her. She wants her mother to share more of her knowledge about his topics but Warner can't do that because the truth of these events is too much for an eight-year-old to handle.
"It is the thing that runs through her mind as we drive in the car and she considers the landscape around her. ‘What does Wal-Mart look like?' she asked me on Wednesday, searching for clues in the storefronts of Northwest Washington.’ A great big store, with groceries and clothing and auto supplies, and electronics,' I said. 'So it’s like Best Buy,' she said, as we drove past Best Buy. 'Not quite like Best Buy. ''Is it near here? ''There’s no Wal-Mart near here,' I said. 'That store was on Long Island.' 'Oh!' she gave a great sigh of relief. 'That’s really far away.'""I would never have expected the Wal-Mart incident to lodge itself so deeply in Emilie’s mind." Warner tries to keep the world away from Emilie such as the paper with grotesque pictures or the news on television because she is so young. "This is why I fought getting cable TV for eight years. This is why I leave the newspapers folded up, photos down." Warner feels like this is the right solution, but she knows her plan of keeping these things from Emilie can easily be revealed in school to her.
My reaction to this article was initially “Wow” this young girl is her own worst enemy. She is in the middle of a stage of too young to get away with things but not old enough to know everything. It's hard to protect young children from these event that have happened in the United States but all parents have to face these issues because if they don't hear about it at home there going to hear it at school, and at school the parent can't help the child know right or wrong or just not to be scared. I think Warner is doing the right thing by hiding pictures from the paper because images like that could stay in her daughter mind forever. But I think Warner needs to step up and tell her daughter about these issues a little more in depth, because the real truth is, if the parent doesn't tell them someone else will.
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4 comments:
I read the same article and I agree with what you're saying, but I also think that Warner can only shield her daughter from so much because there will come a time when her daughter will find out about such tragic events from other sources. I think Warner has the right to protect her daughter, but where will she draw the line?
I just read this OP-ED, and I agree with your conclusions. The Wal-mart incident and other events throughout history that have been tragedies, such as the holocoust and 9/11, tend to stick in people's minds for their entire lives. I agree with megan's comment, where should we draw the line? It's like when does it stop being protecting your children from unhappy realities and become keeping them trapped in their own little world? I think that the journalist has her child's best intrest in mind, but there has to come a point where she has to educate her daughter about the world she is living in, the good and the bad.
I love this op ed, but I have a different view of things. Firstly, I really connected with the voice the author gave to the piece, even though I am not a parent myself. That shows she is a good writer. I think using the Wal-Mart incident, and then connecting that to a much greater universal tragedy like the Holocaust, would seem pretty difficult and overreaching, but she pulled it off.
My opinion on the issue, however, is that she shouldn't shield her kid from the truth. I think when you are young it is important to not be influenced too much by bad television, mainly because TV depicts a distorted reality that turns kids into over-sexed teenagers that want to kill everythign that moves. Basically, the reality we see in the news is closer to actual reality than video games or movies. So I understand censoring your child to entertainment that is too adult for them, but censoring them from what's happening in the world, while it may feel like good parenting, hinders their growth and helps them recede further into childhood, rather than help them grow up and be able to deal with the truth when they are teens and adults. I think for instance the Santa Claus issue is one that is traumatic for many kids becasue they feel lied to, not only because of Santa's absence. If that were true, then adults would be traumatized and would not want to carry on with the tradition, in order to shield their own children. Instead, parents carry on the tradition of Christmas and Santa Claus, but maybe trust what people tell them a little less. Anyone see what I'm saying?
I too recognize the contreversy with this issue, and maybe there really isn't a "wrong" or a "right" time to begin educating children about the less cheerful events that affect their everyday lives.
[i]When[/i] depends on the individual child really. I think that parents need to know their children and make an educated decision based on the maturity of their child on just how much to tell them and when.
I'd consider myself a relatively sheltered kid up until I was about 8 or 9 and then when I began picking up on things at school or on the news my parents would carefully (and partially) explain them to me. Now, I wouldn't say not knowing the full grisly truths at a younger age damaged me in anyway. However, if kids are going to hear about things at school then parents do need to make sure that the kids know the true side of things. Personally, I always asked my parents for clarification or they corrected me themselves but I know that won't happen with all children. I don't think all parents should prevent kids from hearing about things in school by just telling them straight out everything about the event, however. I think their definately has to be a limit like everyone else has said (in much less words than I have-sorry!).
To wrap this up quickly, I think some children may end up needing the truth from their parents earlier. For example, kids that are the youngest in their family are likely to hear snippets of things from their older siblings and the people their siblings hang out with. Therefore they may need to know more of the facts (and from their parents) sooner to prevents misunderstandings.
Like I said before, I think how much parents tell their children and when all depends on the individual child and the circumstances.
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